⭐ premium content • the BEST content • many PEOPLE are saying it's SO good ⭐
PARODY
👔

TrumpFans

listen UP dumb DUMBS
47M subscribers (ALLEGEDLY lol)
100% the BEST content EVER
∞ WINNING (duh)

welcome to the MOST EXCLUSIVE content platform you've EVER seen - believe me, nobody does premium content like i do. NOBODY! you're gonna get access to TREMENDOUS, beautiful content that the fake NEWS media doesn't want you to see. i'm talking golf tips from mar-a-lago, business SECRETS, executive order drafting tutorials - it's gonna be YUUUGE! seriously SO good.

bronze tier
$1999/month
GOLD tier
$4599/month
PLATINUM tier
$9999/month

*not actually classified but SOUNDS cool

exclusive CONTENT preview (SO good)

⛳
golf course BREAKDOWN
a 47-minute analysis of the 8th hole at bedminster. very IMPORTANT. many people want to KNOW this.
🔒 subscribers ONLY
💼
business GENIUS hours
learn how to build TOWERS, brand steaks, and create universities. all TREMENDOUS ideas lol.
🔒 subscribers ONLY
🍔
fast food RANKINGS
my definitive ranking of every burger chain. mcdonalds? you'll WANT to see this. believe me.
🔒 subscribers ONLY
🎤
rally SPEECH secrets
how to work a CROWD, when to say "believe me," and the PERFECT hand gesture timing.
🔒 subscribers ONLY
📱
social MEDIA masterclass
the secrets to going VIRAL. capital LETTERS. exclamation points!! TREMENDOUS engagement.
🔒 subscribers ONLY
🏛️
executive ORDER templates
downloadable templates for ALL your executive order needs. very OFFICIAL. very LEGAL.
🔒 subscribers ONLY

what subscribers are SAYING (real PEOPLE)

"i subscribed and within 24 hours i learned how to say 'nobody knows more about [topic] than me' with COMPLETE confidence. worth every PENNY!"
— definitely a REAL person, mar-a-lago
"the hair care tutorial alone was WORTH the subscription. i've been trying to achieve that LOOK for YEARS. finally!"
— enthusiastic supporter, location UNKNOWN
"i thought i knew about winning. i knew NOTHING about winning until i subscribed. now i'm winning at EVERYTHING. groceries? winning. traffic? WINNING. life? WINNING."
— charlie winning, EVERYWHERE
"the golf tips changed my game COMPLETELY. i'm now shooting in the 60s.* results may vary. my results did NOT actually vary. still shooting in the 110s lol."
— golf enthusiast (FORMER), local course
THIS IS A PARODY WEBSITE FOR satirical PURPOSES only

no actual subscription service EXISTS. no actual exclusive CONTENT is available. this is a work of COMEDY and political satire.

all testimonials are FICTIONAL. all claims of "tremendous" content are exaggerated for COMEDIC effect. any resemblance to actual subscription platforms is purely COINCIDENTAL and satirical.

© 2026 not ACTUALLY affiliated with ANYONE
parody protected UNDER fair use

for more satirical CONTENT, visit: TOOTH.SOCIAL
a parody website from prankster/rapper ASHLEY miami